• Fathers Day!

    Saturday, June 20, 2009

    Father’s Day is a very celebration worthy day as I have three remarkable fathers in my life. So today I want to share my fathers with you. I asked each one of them to answer some question about father hood.

    My Dad is heroic. He holds this place in our family…with fond memories we all share moments in our childhood where Dad had rescued us. My earliest memories of Dad are of him working as a custom homebuilder. We would often visit him at his job site. There us kids would marvel at Dad’s strength and skill. One of these times I remember him clearly, he was wearing a white T-shirt, as always he was very tanned and looked so rough and handsome with his dark curly hair. I remember we watched him before he was aware we had arrived…he was so strong and capable. Us kids observed and learnt as he instructed the crew below him with authority and patients. Each of us kids swooned at his attention. We all adored my father. He was not only our hero but acted as a hero all the time. When I was a bit older I sliced my finger off…I remember starting to faint and fall backwards, my last memory before I fainted was that of my Dad’s strong and fast arm catching my head before it crashed to the ground…with one hand he caught me! That’s impressive! To this day each of us kids respect and admire my Dad for his ability to be heroic… and doing the right thing. For having the sense about life to act fast. For my Dad been heroic is more then just acting but living and been heroic. Been integral, doing what is right regardless the cost, acting and leading not with words but in action. In any crowd my Dad stands out but it is with in the framework of privacy a true hero show their colours… and my Dad’s are brilliant!

    Dad, thank you for raising me in the shadow of a hero! I love you!

    Here are my Dad’s thoughts on fatherhood.

    #1: Define what fatherhood means to you?

    For me it means to give every opportunity to be available to instruct/teach my children that they can come to me with anything that is on their hearts…to give everything within my ability to help them know they are safe and cared for…loved.

    #2: What was pivotal moment for you as a father…either a memory or experience?

    A memory: When my first born grasped his first breaths of his new life that was now in my care.
    An experience: When my children would fall asleep in my arms…the total dependence and trust given to me.

    #3: If there is a piece of advice you would pass on to a younger father what would it be?

    To be soft hearted, not to have his job or desires to stand in the way of their voices…listen to them…take time to step into their world as they see it…enjoy them for who they are…look into their eyes when they are young as well as when they are older.

    #4: What is a principle you used while raising your children?

    I would say a principle for me in raising my children was the knowledge that they are just a gift. And that God in-trusted his handy work to me. For such a short period of time. So I tried to allow His handy work to develop their and His best interests as unique individuals.

    #5: If there was/is one thing you want your children to know when they leave home what would it be?

    That no matter what…they can talk to me…they can ask anything of me…and that my door will always be open…and they are greatly loved.

    My Dad is loving. In the truest way love is given, unconditionally! I have learnt to love by been loved by Dad and by watching him love others. Never have I ever seen him do anything to hurt anybody. He has given him self generously in every area of his life. Never have I seen him draw attention to himself or make known the love he so freely gives to others. As a daughter he has seen many of my low moments…but it is the hug and complete expectance I get from him at the end of the day that I know and feel the depth of love he has for me and the rest of his family. I love the story of him marring my mother and her two little boys…Roger been one of them. Over night he was a husband, father two young boys and mortgage holder. No one else in the world could have had the grace and love to take that all on and do as incredible of a job as he did. I am so blessed been married to a son of Peter’s and now have the privilege of been his daughter.

    Dad, thank you for showing me by example how to love others, thank you for loving me! I love you!

    Here are my Dad-through-marriage thoughts on fatherhood:

    #1: Define what fatherhood means to you?

    To me, fatherhood is a commitment. It could be a 20 year commitment, but often it's a lifelong commitment, and God honours the time that is put in. Over Christmas, our pastor dropped in for a chat, and the course of conversation turned to the geneology of Jesus. Subsequently, I reread the two accounts, Mathew's and Luke's, and one thing struck me, they both end with Joseph. Joseph was not Jesus' biological father, he was his step-father. As a step-father myself, this interested me. Joseph was thrust into this role, and he accepted it and raised Jesus. God honoured this commitment by establishing Joseph's name in the lineage of Jesus. It is an easy thing to father a child, it takes a commitment to raise a child.

    #2: What was a pivotal moment for you as a father...either a memory or a experience?

    I think one pivotal moment was seeing the birth of my daughter. Watching her enter the world, take her first breath and hear her voice for the first time was truly an amazing experience.

    #3: If there is a piece of advice you would pass on to a younger father what would it be?

    My first and foremost piece of advice would be - spend time with your kids. When our kids were young, I had the opportunity to go back to school and get a degree. I took that opportunity, and to this day I regret it. The time spent studying took me away from playing with my children, and as a result produced a kind of estrangement with them (healed by God's grace). I often wish I could re-live those days and do things better. Perhaps that's why God invented grandkids.

    #4: What was a principle you used while raising your children?

    One principle that was important to me was that something was worth more if it was earned rather than given. Sometimes our kids reminisce about growing up, they complain that I was stingy with their allowance. I deliberately didn't give them much - the idea being that if they did some chores, I would pay them extra. Although they were never enthusiastic about it, they sometimes did a little work and got paid for it. I hope this principle gets passed to the grandkids - that you treasure something a little more if an effort is expended to achieve it.

    #5: If there was one thing you wanted you kids to know before they left home what would it be?

    I would hope that my kids have been grounded in their faith, and have a personal relationship with their heavenly father. There will be times when they find themselves in a difficult situation, and if their faith is strong, then they know they are never alone - God is on their side.

    My dear husband father to my children. Roger is wise. He is wise as he leads our family. When he talks to the girls he speaks with wisdom, he subtly guides and instructs the girls all the time in all situations. As we approach new stages in parenting Roger takes the time to pray, gather information and then with such wisdom brings what we need into our family. I trust Roger as mother, I trust him with the hearts, character and spirits of my children. As a young boy Roger desired to be wise…wise like the ancient King Solomon, Roger and his Grandma prayed that God would bless Roger with wisdom. My Dear Roger you are wise, you raise our girls with so much wisdom…wisdom beyond your years. My…our children our blessed to have you as a father.

    Roger, thank you for been wise, thank you for leading our children with wisdom! I love you!

    #1: Define what fatherhood means to you?

    Being responsible for my children's hearts; and cherishing every moment I have with them and loving them so they learn how to love others.

    #2: What was a pivotal moment for you as a father...either a memory or an experience?

    I was just sitting with Marion on my lap, she was a few months old, I realized that she was far more amazing than any expectation I had of what my baby would be like. I wrote a little song "You're beautiful to me, Your're everything I would want you to be, You're beautiful to me, My Marion"

    #3: If there is a piece of advice you would pass on to a younger father what would it be?

    Love your kids and spend as much time with them as possible, but always show them that you love Mommy a bit more. That makes a child more secure than your own love for them.

    #4: What is a principle you use while raising your children?

    "Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it." Proverbs. I will not leave my children's characters to chance. I would much rather be an active participant in forming, and molding, and guiding who they are and will become.

    #5: If there was is one thing you want your kids to know before they leave home what would it be?

    Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind, and love your neighbour as yourself. This is the greatest commandment.