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I've been slowing
down, resting more, the full of these months is weighing heavier and heavier, I
realized today how much can be accomplished when life slows a little in pace.
Accomplishments of
the heart
not so much of
chores.
But there are
seasons, and the end of a pregnancy is one of those times.
I have found that as
some things are taking less priority while others are flourishing.
I have had
more time to sit, cuddle my littles who will all grow into older siblings
within a few weeks.
I have had time to read,
for myself, absorbing words in ways I haven't since the last stage of my last
pregnancy.
I have had time to
think and pray.
It has been
nurturing.
With time and
contemplative prayer for my home school I am gathering the somewhat fragmented
nuggets of my heart and ideals, and weighed them against what I feel is wisdom
for my family's education.
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In so I have found a
reoccurring theme, deeply imbedded in my teaching desires.
I want these years of
home-education to be immersed in
Tenderness.
I want the approach, the
curricula, the plans, the speech, the shaping and leading and teaching all the
hours of these fleeting years to be rooted and covered in a
Holy Tenderness.
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~
I will admit I am not
always tender, I have agendas and expectations that crash heavy against my
desired tenderness.
I have students that
display a determined dose of self will, frustration and disobedience.
Homeschooling does
not always expose beauty.
It is not to be
over-romanticised.
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Yet I feel called to
this teaching role, I feel humbled at this opportunity and do not want to waist
but a moment of these precious years with my children.
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I have learnt from
the sobered tears of the older women who weep for the years passed, moments
missed, decades hurried through life subtly slipped away never to be regained.
And so I will try
for myself
to articulate the essentials of our home
education founded and rooted in tenderness.
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Tender
teaching through the young years
An education starts
from the first deep breath,
not with flash cards
and mobiles turning to Mozart.
Not bouncy seats or
buzzy toys.
But genuine love.
Babies need time,
your time.
They need eye contact
and a soft voice.
They will know peace,
from your own peace.
They need real play!
Toys that develop
ones young abilities.
Not flashy or noisy!
Books and music in
the classics. Not twaddle or poor quality.
They need time, most
of the day, to explore and play.
They need outdoors.
Fresh air and unhurried exploration.
They need slow, slow
life, slow living.
A gentle daily rhythm
during their young years.
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Tender
teaching through the early stages of education.
These are the years
of side by side schooling. Hand in mine as I lead them to interests.
They need soft tender
speech, and patient guidance.
I need to join them at their level and look into their face and join
them where they are at, happy or sad.
They need a feast of
interests presented before them.
Poetry, music,
beautiful captivating stories, art.
Gently invite them to
notice the details of life. A bud unfurling, strokes of an artist, notes of a
song.
Teach them the invaluable gift of attention.
True education is a
lifestyle. A peaceful home opens the doors to engaged play and learning.
Creating and surrounding your home with beauty, toys that develop imagination
and creativity, music and books that uplift and teach. Your child will naturally
learn. Gravitating towards his own interests and developing self directed play
and learning, with little to no involvement from a parent. Setting up your home
as a learning environment creates an atmosphere of learning.
When the child is
ready, and only with the gentlest guidance, teach letters and numbers,
sequencing, and writing.
Honour the unique learning
timeframe God has placed in each individual. There should be no formula for an
educational timeline. Each child is the handiwork of God. Unique in learning,
gifts, and abilities. Honour the child's maker, and be gentle in teaching. A
slower approach to teaching the basics, but peaceful, will keep a young ones
mind open and engaged and their hearts will remain yours.
They need to tell
you... about everything! Listen! Pay attention, show interest, and respond. It
validates what is going on inside of them, and it shows them you care about who
they are! If you listen now, they will continue to talk and include you in
their lives in later years.
These years need an
increase in responsibilities. Household chores and character refinement should
be an essential part of their education.
Modeled and gently taught.
Much time is needed
for play.
Children learn
through play. Free play. With real open ended toys and open ended time.
Lots of time.
They need outdoors.
Fresh air and unhurried exploration.
They need slow, slow
days, slow living.
They do not need a
cluster of lessons, or activities that keep them rushing or are over-stimulating,
they need home as much as possible.
They need a gentle
rhythm to their days.
Avoid (as a parent)
Obvious frustration with flustered speech and demeanour,
over punishment, rushing, unrealistic expectations, late nights, technology, too
much 'school book work', distancing their hearts from yours.
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Tender
teaching through the middle years
This age longs for
respect. Always look for ways to display your joy in their growing abilities. Show
respect for their opinions, ideas and
desires, they may not be properly formed or explained, yet they long for your validation and support to mature in this area.
Laugh with them. The
middles have an essential need for laughter, and they need you to laugh along.
They need your time! Lots of it.
Provide high quality literature,
subjects rich in character who will inspire morals, exploration and
adventure.
Read out-loud to
them! Sit together and read!
Continue to advance
their interests in poetry, music, beautiful captivating stories, art.
Math and reading are
staircase subjects built step upon step, continue to gently teach these concepts. No rushing. Just one skill mastered upon the next.
All other subjects of
education should be approached tenderly and with a keen interest and love for
learning. Keep their brains open and absorbing. The fastest way to shut the
doors of childhood interest is by 'making them know something' giving them a
high stack of work books, facts and fill in the blanks and check the boxes; it
creates brain blocks, tears and frustration and eventually a death to eager and
enthusiastic learning. Keep information lively and interesting, don't push too
fast through a study, instead absorb the content. Always lean into the child's
natural interests.
Advance your
education from teaching to experiencing. Take them to symphonies, art
galleries, museums, let them hear first hand stories of war veterans and real personal
accounts of adventure and lives lived. Let them experience the real essence of
education, first hand.
Steadily raise your
desires for their execution of projects, neater printing, clearer descriptions,
articulation of thoughts and feelings, self management in character and responsibilities.
At this age they need
greater expectations, teach them to bake, mow lawns, mop floors, basic care for
the young and the elderly.
Do not bombard their
days with out of home activities. They need free time. This is the last stage
of play in their lives. Let them play. A transition happens in these years from
playing an activity to wanting to be productive (baking, creating, building) this
is the older way of 'play'. Allow freedom for the middle years way of play.
Outdoors is an
essential for these years. Biking, walking, hiking, gardening, swinging, kite
flying. Fresh air and being in touch with nature will beautifully aid these
years of transition.
Keep life slow,
steady; not too busy yet not allowing for boredom to set in.
Avoid (as a parent)
Treating them like
young children. Speaking down to them. Not listening to them. Getting
frustrated too easily. Not giving them enough responsibility. Expecting too much
or too little. Not showing enough affection (lots of hugs and kisses) keeping
them too busy, entertaining with goofy books and TV.
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I cannot go beyond
these years, as I have yet to experience the joys of older children.
I have
grieved with families as they have struggled through the 'older years' and the
one thing that keeps repeating itself is a parents wish to go back into the
young years and let go of their high expectations and busyness and rather display
tenderness, a Holy Tenderness
towards their children. To love them with tenderness, to guide them tenderly, and
express tenderness through their parental actions of time, speech, heart, body
language, expectations, affections, prayer and teaching.
I have no aim at
perfection, only a genuine desire to be a mother and teacher filling the rhythms
of our home and hearts with the
Wisdom
of Tenderness
~
