~
I so often hear the weight of
others heart, they talk over the phone, coffee or email. They say the things of
my own thoughts. How walking this path of motherhood is not easy or glamorous,
not sure their cut out for the demands of Mothering full time. Some spill their
tears at home school support groups, all the weight of parenting and educating
loaded in their hearts.
How I can understand.
There are swarms of concerns we
Mothers carry.
This summer looking into the
Fall and the bold day marking the first of the education calendar, that little
box with a start date in the corner got me flustered right down deep.
How to do it?
One Mama, Five littles.
Grade five, Grade one.
A three year-old and two toddling
one year-olds!
Every Year starts this way,
Me questioning how.
When the days start before the
sun and the moon is high by the time sleep returns like a comforting friend. When a list of to-do's
carries from one day to the next.
And I spend my nights awake
with my youngest who's past of neglect robs her peace of sleep. And the tears
and the restlessness keep us both awake from 1a.m till 5a.m and the alarm
signals a new day at 6a.m
My cumbersome feet and heart
make it's shuffle in the early a.m and I stand in front of my fridge, there a prayer
hangs, and I chant it over and over until I believe it's words.
Courage comes slipping in
gently like the dawn.
And my troops awake eager and
lovely and full of life.
And the day journeys on.
And I falter.
Because navigating between
toddlers wants and needs, wondering at the fine line between grace and giving
in.
Latin and Laundry,
Fractions and Food,
By the end of my day my limbs
tremble from exhaustion.
My heart loves this life, my
kids undertow, teaching and living all together.
Yet my wants and expectations,
speak a testimony of frustration.
This is how God spoke to me,
through the weakness of my own heart.
He is teaching me, ever so
patiently through another school year, that it's about His holiness, empting me
into Him and trusting him that obedience to Him is the fruit. Not my expectations
coming to fruition or my lofty goals accomplished.
Another sunrise was the
sanctuary for my weak heart, willing to surrender this year to God.
When the fears and tears were
shed, Grace came in peace and whispered this pray, for me to script into my
heart, a pray to meditate on and turn to when the challenges arise.
It hangs on my fridge
It's my anthem
a call to bring me back to that
sunlit morning when God showed me it's about Him
choosing me to lead his precious
young.
~
My Anthem
Mothering
under the shelter of God's holy wings
I am a extension of Heaven to my Children, the first face
of God displaying the tender mercies of His Grace.
I walk
humbly unto Christ as I lead my littles into His ever loving and open arms.
The Spirit of God will
dance over us and be among us as the Holy Spirit is welcomed into our
home.
May I
always be first looking to the cross and then unto things around, focused on
beauty, bringing life and love to the hearts and lives of my Family.
By
Grace and echoing all that is gifted through the cross may I display Love, Tenderness,
Graciousness, Patients and Peace.
May
the words my children hear be the sincerity of pray, the gracious of tongue and the holy whispers of
Divinity.
May
all things of my heart and home be a
Holy and Pleasing Sacrifice
unto
My
Father and My Lord.
~
Sweet Mothers,
Find your own anthem, lyrics God has spoken to
your spirit.
Every company focused and with
purpose has a mission statement.
A Declaration
that holds them fast
steadies and guides.
Your most sacred role is
sheparding the young, leading them to God.
Have a declaration
a prayer
your purpose
written.
So you can see and be reminded
of your magnificent role as a
Mother.
~
