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I have found it takes six months to settle into a new family
rhythm after a baby joins our family. Jeriah was around six months when our
involvement in Amaris’s life took a turn and we adopted her into our family. We
went from a family of five to seven in less than a year! Adoption takes time,
bonding takes time, ’twins’ take A LOT of time, all around our family has been
adjusting, re-adjusting, then adjusting some more, for months now! The constant
changes were starting to take its toll; opinions, emotions, tempers and tiredness
were all running high in this home. After floundering for some time, Roger
and I decided things had to change. Roger took time off work, we made a very
detailed list of things that were bothering us, from character to cupboards,
and set about tackling these trouble areas.
First we talked through our present life, decided we needed
to simplify and streamline nearly every aspect of it. Our motto is simply,
SIMPLE!
Second we worked on our relationship! We both knew we needed
quality time together, yet with so many babies and the variables brought with
each child we rarely were getting windows to be alone together. We planned
twelve in home dates, one for each month, by planning in advance we have the assurance
that there is something fun and for just the two of us in the near future. We planned in home dates because then we do not need to rely on a babysitter or remembering to make reservations. We made
each date simple enough to achieve it! Then we took a deeper step, we both
needed to peel a few layers of stress back and expose the areas that were
bothering or hurting the other, wow, this was not easy, like the layers of an onion
each slice hurt. Vulnerability and
humbleness is never easy. I am always amazed at what can build up almost
silently, between two people, even two people deeply in love. I am grateful that
we both were able to go deep into our love and be willing to face challenges
and desire to meet each other’s needs. Just
by connecting and refocusing a weight was lifted off our marriage, of course we
continue to work together, and challenges arise but defiantly we have both seen
the blessing of being united again with single focus of loving our God, each
other and leading our family!
Third we streamlined all aspects of family life. School,
programs, socialization, character training, everything surrounding our
children and their needs, this is of course ongoing as family life is always
changing. It feels so good for Roger and I to both know what’s going on in our
home and in our children’s lives, and be of same mind.
Fourth we organized our home, from top to bottom! We went
through every space and made it fluid for five children. We simplified and
organized and ironed out all lose ends! What a relief and what a blessing! No
more wasted time looking for things or trying to find places for things.
Life is never going to be perfect; with each child God has
blessed us with he has faithfully and very painfully chiselled away at both
mine and Rogers’s perfectionism. This is a hard lesson to learn, laying perfect
down. Yet I believe that in exchange you
receive love and life. As Roger and I worked away at the chaos in our life we
asked God for wisdom to add only the best for our family, the best is not
always perfect and perfect is never the best. Yes we cleaned and organized not
so we could have a perfect home but so we could achieve what needed to be done
each day with the minimal of hassle involved. We
thought through each space so our kids could reach, clean and put things away with
little to no help from an adult. We got rid of SO much stuff to create more
space, less clutter, and to live within our means, financially, space wise and
with our very precious time.
We both have felt ease come into our lives, united in home
and hearth, we move forward free and full, and with the blessing of focus.
My desire over the next few blog posts is to share my tidy
spaces, not so as to say I have everything perfect in my home, because I don’t!
A lot of life lives here! Only to share some of the places that got a good overhaul
and capture them while everything is still in its rightful spots!
I cleaned out the kitchen! Twelve hours, three garbage bags
of trash and give away, thirty buckets if clean-to-dirty water, later I had a
sparkling space! By the end of breakfast the next morning blue-berry finger
smudges and spilt milk removed most of the previous days luster! But the cupboards
and counters remain tidy and pretty. My favorite is the phone counter; we made
it into our command station of sorts
A place for mail ...
In, Out & Sorting
A place for little things…
Thumb-Tacks, chalk, paper clips…
Pens in pretty pails…
A place for my binders…
Home management, contacts, medical information, and my daily
home journal.
A place for keys…
No more scrounging around in the drawers for them!
A place for stationary…
My labels and more delicate office supplies.
A place for every little thing you have no idea where to put…
The junk drawers were turned about into something manageable
and useful!
I purchased the hanging mail files and the ‘little things’
boxes from Martha Stewart @ staples.
The pen pails, container for my stationary and junk drawers,
the metal things that are holding my binders upright (they are napkin holders) from
IKEA.
The key hook is from Wal-Mart, fastened by 3M wall-mounts.
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Ahhhh...
it feels lovely to have such a space as this, I haven't lost my keys all month, wink-wink!
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