Winter is falling from the heavens in crystal miracles ~
each alive with the unique finger print of a glorious Master. Like lace it garnishes my world, I feel these
stiches of creation’s grace and beauty knitted into the fabric of my heart and
the life of my babe.
Long months ago I wrestled with the loss of a baby. My whole
world was in the mothering countdown of a precious addition. I longed to care
for a neglected baby, everything Innocent to be nourished by my love. And when
the adoption fell through I felt I buried my own, when I left Africa I left my
heart. I still cry at night wondering if he lives, well and innocent. I wonder
if he knows me and my love so far from him.
In the wake of my loss the Lord whispered a breath and a
hope into my womb and I loved deeply and fully. I slipped my fears like fingers
into the hands of God asking for the faith to trust him through the vulnerability
of another mothering experience. And then
one morning I bleed. Hope flooded out of my body. My hours were simple
stumbling from one prayer to the next. Later that week we watched a screen and
saw one heart aflutter and another slipped away to heaven. Joy and Grief were
mixed equally into that moment.
These months of growing this gracious kiss from heaven I
have had my life, heart and hopes humbly bowed, knowing that this babes life
was God’s, requiring of me a full dedication, a complete return of this gift.
In the final days of life hushed inside me, new-life was
placed on the chest of another Mother, a friend in another city, the only hours given
were that of a heart failing into the beauty of heaven. God is so fearfully near during pain.
A few nights later my own son arrived, so quickly he was
born into the hands of his father, the midwives still en-route.
So much peace
filled our home ~ our hearts. God had seen.
He was named with a blessing:
~ God Has Seen ~
~ Jeriah Peter Milner ~
"According to the family tree of the Hebronites, Jeriah
held pride of place. In the fortieth year of David's reign (his last), the
Hebron family tree was researched and outstanding men were found at Jazer in
Gilead, namely, Jeriah and 2,700 men of his extended family: David the king
made them responsible for administration of matters related to the worship of
God and the work of the king in the territory east of the Jordan—the
Reubenites, the Gadites, and the half-tribe of Manasseh."
1 Chronicles 26 : 31-32 The Message
Our gift came, miraculous and perfect!
We are blessed ~ We are humbled!
